So, since I'm somewhat of a ruminator I couldn't help but think about the assignment given for that first week that I missed.
Write a blog post to your childhood self. What words of encouragement do you need to hear?
I grew up the eldest of six in mid-Wisconsin during those ugly Vietnam Nam era days. Things were getting less and less rigid in oh so many ways and I think the trickle down effect was in full force for me. My mother had a motto of being a "Jack of all trades, Master of none" so she was fond of giving us a little taste of of everything. It made sense. Kids don't know what they want. And with six of them, a taste is all anyone could really afford back then. So, I had two years of piano lessons, two years of ballet lessons, a year on the violin, two on the clarinet. I never quit anything. I was just told it was time to move on. Give someone else a chance on the family's clarinet. That sort of thing.
Obviously, these are not the musings from a deprived childhood by any stretch of the imagination. We knew we were very fortunate to get the lessons we had - many of which were free through the school district. Certainly a different time and place. My recollection is that excellence never came into the equation in my formative years. I even remember the wonderful oboe teacher that took me on when I was in Jr. high who told me I could really be an amazing oboist if I just applied myself. I sort of scratched my head and wondered what it was that I wasn't doing to get where he thought I should go? I ruminated about his comment for decades.
What a contrast when I had my own children and we were navigating the multiple sports leagues, some extremely competitive! The year round baseball practices. Talking about athletic scholarships soon after they grew out of T-ball! Who are these people??? I'd met some driven people when I was in med school but holy cow! I had never seen anyone as competitive and single minded as some of these parents on the side lines.
But, part of me has always envied people with so much drive. I have long wished I had an abiding passion in my life. I often wonder if during my younger years when pursuing the things I found enjoyable had I actually given it my all would I have found the thing that God put me here to do? I remember really enjoying playing the instruments I had learned to play but was always terrified of performing in public mostly out of my own mediocrity. Would it have been different if I had put in the hours and applied myself the way Mr. Horning had said?
I do know that it was not until my older son inspired me by his amazing work ethic in high school that I got a front row seat to what excellence means. Not only did he put in the hours of study, but he was just not satisfied until he mastered it all! He had the drive and passion and exuded a palpable joy when he knew he had gotten ALL of it. It took nearly 40 years but I finally understood what my teacher meant all those years ago.
So, a few years later when I went back for a masters degree I really applied myself. I not only knocked it out of the park grade-wise but I had the joy that comes from not only mastering something but knowing you've given it your all. Not settling for good enough. Not being a slacker.
That's what I would go back and tell my childhood self. Try different things - yes. But when you find something you really like give it your all. Apply yourself. Go for the gold. Find your "A" game and above all else remember who you ultimately work for. There's the real reason for being excellent.
***and for those of you that have never resided in the south
catawampus Chiefly Midland and Southern U.S.
— adjective- askew; awry.
- positioned diagonally; cater-cornered.
- diagonally; obliquely: We took a shortcut and walkedcatawampus across the field.
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